Changes
by FanaticFaberrittanaFanfiction
Summary: They say that change is for the best, they say that change makes us stronger, they say that change is inevitable. They say you'll never stay the same, I'm not sure if that's good or not but I'm going through some changes and I can't do it alone. M rating for future chapters. Finntana bromance. Faberry. One sided!Pezberry.
1. Changes

AN: This is my head cannon for the future. You need to read this instead of skipping right to the story.

This is cannon all the way up to Rachel leave for New York. So Finn did break up with Rachel. After that it's a different world. Finn is a navy seal and he did not shot himself This is not Finntana in a romantic sense it's pure unadulterated friendship. There is no chance of Finchel romance either, I don't want anyone to like get mixed signals, I've been told that I do that with my friendships.

Summary: They say that change is for the best, they say that change makes us stronger, they say that change is inevitable. They say you'll never stay the same, I'm not sure if that's good or not but I'm going through some changes and I can't do it alone.

Warning: There will be some racist comments made because of my cousin he went to war and came back, he made and still makes comments that's regular conversation overseas. Also a lot the examples I have is from my cousin he has PTSD.

0000

The cab ride is long, hot, and boring. You don't trust your cab driver, he's one of those foreign Iraq guys, you're not racist or anything but the last one you saw is the reason half of your skull is titanium. He was also the reason you got honorably discharged a decorated navy Seal. But he was also the reason you brought honor to the Hudson name, no one will snicker at a Hudson again. You're only 25 but you're a decorated "legend", you injury was like a movie and you don't like to think about it. When the sand jockey comes to a stop you pay him and hurry away, you leave him a huge tip because you feel bad for thinking these things about him. It's hard to re register that they're not bad people, they're just some bad apples in the basket.

You hurry in line and stand there in your white dress uniform , no time to change but you kind of wish you had because people are looking at you, you hate shaking hands but it's what they tell you to do when you're in uniform. You respect the people that respect you. You pull off your hat, you're a Chief, and run your fingers over your hair exhaling. Being in New York is giving you a headache, it's making you nervous to hear so many sounds and be around so many people. But you promised Kurt you would come to his and Rachel's closing show and after missing Burt's funeral it's the least you can do to be here for him.

Once inside you look around, checking all exits, emergency or not, you can't walk into a room and not check everything.

"Finn?"

"Yes ma'am?" You turn around, "Santana?"

She looks so different, she's still beautiful but she looks different like an adult. Her hair is falling in loose curls around her shoulders wearing a pair of black businessman slacks obviously tailor made to fit her, she's wearing a dress shirt tucked in, and suspenders hang around her waist. She looks like she belongs on wall street, she looks important.

"Jesus Christ Finnocence, you look good."

"Thanks...so do you.."

You wonder if she's still pissed about the way you outed her but then she hugs you and you think that it's maybe okay now. You still need to apologize and you will. That's a promise.

"I heard about your injury. I'm glad you're okay, they just stopped talking."

"Yeah." You release her from the hug, "It's a running joke that I'm impervious to death."

It's true, the others in your pride they called you 'Chief Lucky' because you ranked up pretty quick, you've been shot, blown up, and you always walked away. Even after the last time, after you got blown up, you kept walking, you walked until you couldn't.

"Well you've always been lucky." She smirks.

She's mocking you, playfully, you can see it in her eyes so you smile. Somethings will never change.

"Are you here for Kurt and Rachel?"

You nod, "Yeah, Kurt begged me and I couldn't say no to him."

"Come on, I bet we're in the same row."

You follow her, she seems like she's in change, like she's grown up and important. She walks through the crowd and people just move, it's just like high school. She takes you through a door and right up to your front row seat.

"I need to run backstage, you got a backstage pass?"

"Yeah."

"Great. I'll be back."

She walks away and you unbutton your jacket, dropping it over the chair, when you sit back down you finally exhale putting the hat on your knee. You're excited to see your little brother perform, even Rachel. You have missed his bright brown eyes and energetic smile. You stopped writing everyone but Carl and she kept pushing you to talk to someone, mostly Kurt or Rachel, but you couldn't because you needed to let go of everything and everyone. Especially Rachel, you were holding each other back, her dreams were and probably still are so much bigger than what you could have given her. And you needed to ind yourself and not while following Rachel or having her follow you, the break up was for the best. It hurt like hell but it needed to happen.

When the lights dim Santana is beside you, more somber than before, you wanna ask her what's wrong when you see another familiar face.

"Finn!"

"Quinn!"

"You look good." She sits on your other side.

You smile, "Thanks Q, you look good."

She does, her style is way different, she's wearing skinny shorts that stop at her knees, some multicolored shirt, and brown moccasins matching her brown Indian vest. She looks like a hippie and that brown Indian headband isn't helping my thought. Right before total darkness you notice Santana glaring at Quinn, what's that all about?

0000

Needless to say the show was amazing. You were so proud that you actually cheered when they finished 'La Vie Boheme' You stood right up and yelled like it was football, they noticed and smiled before going right back into character. Kurt plays Mark, he's great at it, and Rachel is playing Maureen. When you said she was a good lesbian the girls laughed saying nothing. You ignored it.

Noe you're waiting patiently to get backstage, Santana had left to do something for the cast and you wonder what she does while Quinn was directly behind her. You remove your hat again when a big guy walks out. He stares at you and you immediately look at his pressure points, all of them are open and you can kill him if you have to.

"Finn Hudson?"

"Yes sir."

"You're the last one, follow me."

You follow him, watching as he slows down to walk beside you.

"I saw you on the news." He sounds impressed. "Heard you did some crazy stuff over there."

You tune him out because he's fishing, everyone wants to know what it's like. It's hell. That's all anyone needs to know, you hate when people ask you too many questions about what you did over there. You hate when they stare at your head, like this guy is doing, trying to find the scar. And you hate when they give you their reason for not signing up. You don't give a damn about their reasoning, you've heard the 'I'm a coward' joke a million times. And guess what, it's not fucking funny!

"Anyway I respect you buddy."

You shake his hand walking into the room, it's pretty tamed but you figure it's just a warm up.

"Finn!"

You turn, putting on that wide smile, as Kurt runs up hugging you. You hug back, just as tight, you haven't seen your brother in so long. You haven't hugged him or heard his voice and you have no one to believe but yourself. You let him go and he looks you over, smiling as he reaches in fixing your coat.

"Look at you. Rach!" He keeps fiddling with your coat, "I missed you big guy."

You mess his hair, "I missed you too."

You see her, Rachel, she's just as beautiful as always. She runs up hugging you, almost knocking you into the floor.

"You're alive."

"yeah..." You break the hug.

She smiles up at you, "We're so proud of you Finn. I knew you could do something."

"I'm proud of you. Both of you."

You run your fingers through your hair, glad to have it back, and continue catching up with them. They talk and you listen, you've been gone since you were 18, so you would love to hear about them. You're life isn't that interesting. You smile when Quinn walks up but confusion takes over your face when she puts an arm around Rachel's waist whispering in her ear, in a couple kind of way.

"It was good seeing you Finn."

Quinn smiles, "Hey, it was nice seeing you."

You nod as they walk away, going into a dark corner.

Kurt smirks, "They date."

"Really?"

:Since Sophomore year of college."

You nod, but you don't question it. Ever since you caught them in an intense stare down you always wondered. Always. Now you don't have to wonder and you're happy for them both.

"Mingle, we'll have lunch tomorrow."

"Sure."

He hugs you again and walks away with some guy and you guess Blaine is out the picture. You could care less, if you're honest, that time is over now. You look around and find yourself at the table with drinks and open your beer in over a year. Special missions don't allow you don't time to drink and being in physical therapy no one is giving you a beer. The first sip makes you grimace but you keep drinking. It's ice cold, goes down smooth and you feel like your insides are frozen. The little things you open another and come face to face with Santana, she's holding an empty beer and her hair is in a messy ponytail. You can't help but grin at her.

"Want a drink?"

She stares, "Trying to get me drunk?"

You shake your head and take the empty bottle out her hand, she's already drunk, but you hand her another beer anyway because she looks like she needs one. And telling by the way she downed it, you're right.

"Thanks, so what was it like?"

"What?"

"Seeing the world."

"Lonely."

You take another beer from the ice and look at her. She's staring between you and the "stage" she finishes her beer and growls.

"Santana?"

"I know what you mean. Lonely."

This is when you follow her gaze, she's glaring at Quinn and Rachel, your eyes widen when you realize who she's glaring at.

"San..."

"Make that drink you offered."

You shrug lazily and give in easy, she doesn't wanna talk but you get it. You don't wanna talk either so you make her horrible drinks mixing vodka and Coors. It didn't take long for you to stumble away when Santana went to talk to the girls. Rage at them as she said. Being drunk is the way you remember, sloppy and dizzy and messy. Standing on the sidewalk you try to get a cab, it's not easy. You on your hat waving around until a loud whistle echos behind you making your jump. A cab stops and Santana walks by you.

"Get in."

You stare at the cab before getting in and listening to Santana mutter an address. You stare out the window and Santana takes your hat. Looking over you chuckle because she's put it on backwards.

"What do you do?"

"Rachel's manager." She shrugs and starts going through her phone, "She's too sensitive to make it on her own..."

"So you protect her?"

"Yeah"

You smile at her, she doesn't notice because she's slamming down on the screen of phone before throwing it out the window.

"You're gonna regret that later."

"I know." She takes out a cigarette, "Always do."

"Always?"

"Six iPhones have broken the same way."

You laugh, "Rage."

"Rage."

The cabs tops and she looks at you.

"Where are you staying? With Kurt?"

"This hotel."

"Okay, no, get out. Pay him and follow me."

You do as your told and step out the cab staring at her then the building with the doorman.

"You live here?"

"Yeah, at the very top. I'm a boss. Who knew dropping out of college could make you loaded?"

You stare, all you can remember is Santana talking college and her education but hell everything has changed it looks like. Before you can ask any questions if you're on the elevator and she's humming, she's humming some old song by Amy Winehouse and you can still hear her raspy voice. The door opens into the house, how the hell can she afford this? Rachel must be a success.

"Rachel is my most successful client but Quinn sells really well. Kurt isn't bad himself, he's about to go on a book tour."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, she has a guitar, she's beautiful, she's indie, she's hippie, and she's a lesbian. It's wonderful, the bloggers love her and the media is obsessed."

You sit down trying to imagine Quinn the way you described but you can't. All you see is...well not that you still see the Quinn you know but the clothes she wore tonight...wow. You remove your shoes and she walks up the steps. Getting up you slip off your shoes and slacks folding them up and put them neatly on the recliner. After you finish folding everything you sit your boxers and wife beater, running your arms. It's not cold but something feels weird. She walks back down handing you a blanket and pillow.

"I would give you a room but I don't live alone. Well I have another on but it's not done."

"This is fine."

"Well goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Glad you're not dead."

"Uh right back at you."

You smile when she laughs and lie back on the couch. You like this, being home is already better. You're not hearing bombs."

0000

Santana POV

Your head hurts and you know you've been drinking again, God help you you smell like bad mix drinks and beer. Getting out of bed you have 3 missions, peeing, second you need to shower because you smell horrible, and third you need to piece together last night. But above all you need to pee. After completing your first two missions you decide that third should be solved over breakfast. God help you, you're cursed to wake up at 6 in the morning like clockwork. You walk into the living room and pause when you hear grunting, male grunting. You really hold you didn't hook up with some disgusting guy, you'll throw up, you walk around the couch and the man is Finn doing push ups.

"Finn, why are you doing push ups?"

"I need to."

"Are you hungry?"

He just keeps pushing so you go into the kitchen. You don't have time to guess. You don't feel like pretending to have a conversation. You'll just make enough for two and if he's hungry he'll eat.

"Where is my phone?" You stare at the empty charging dock.

"Broken somewhere."

You look at Finn as he walks in, "Shit. Why? Help me remember last night."

"You were mad and launched it out the window."

"Damn it, I bet Rachel is pissed."

He looks at you, "You can use my phone."

"Thanks. I owe you breakfast."

"It's on the table."

You walk out grabbing the phone off the coffee table and head up the steps, you wonder why you let Finn stay. Nothing personal but you never really liked the guy, not at all. You do remember, vaguely, being happy to see him, he did become tolerable and it's been a long time since high school. You look at the phone and type in Rachel's number from memory as you call her, waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Rachel?"

"Santana, what the hell?!"

"Sorry..."

"I'm running down the sidewalk to a photo shoot because of you. Where is your damn phone?"

"Some homeless man's basket I presume."

"Damn it Santana."

"I'll go get a new one. You need to set your alarm's first off because I am your walking and talking calendar. But you have a phone interview after that shoot, you need to go on 'Ellen' be early and finally you need to go to that movie premier, and make her wear shoes."

"Will you be there."

"No, I have plans." You're not good at lying to her but you really hate all the camera's.

She sighs, "Fine, we're still be there for lunch."

"We?"

"Quinn and I."

She hangs up and you almost break Finn's phone, you go down the steps and find Finn in the kitchen eating cereal in his boxers. There is a man in your kitchen, in his underwear, and slurping cereal.

"Gross."

He sits the bowl down, "Sorry."

"No problem. My roommate is gross too." You start pouring your Apple Jacks when you realize he's eating the 'Lucky Charms' that once belonged to Brittany...but it's not like she's gonna be eating them.

He looks at you, "So, how's it been?"

"Small talk sucks."

He grins, "It does."

You laugh at his goofy smile and start eating your cereal, you watch the way he watches you, his confusion gone and replaced by curiosity. You don't like being stared at, not even a little bit.

"Spit it out."

"Sorry about outing you, I'm really sorry. I never thought about it being so serious because I figured everyone knew. Then, we were on this mission, a guy got outed on TV while he was kissing his boyfriend. His family disowned him and he was on the plane just stone face, he realized he was going be homeless and his life was going to change...I'm sorry."

You stare at him moving the spoon around in your cereal.

"Okay."

"That's it?"

"What do you want me to do? Break out in song? Dick move, but I guess I got over it at some point. But if you're sorry you can be my bitch today."

"Uh..."

"Do you mean it?"

"Well yeah." He rubs the back of his neck in that Finn Hudson way.

You nod, "Then today, Finn Hudson, you are my bitch. Do you have clothes?"

"Yeah but they don't really fit."

"Okay, well go shower. My roommate has some clothes that might fit you."

When he doesn't budge you raise an eyebrow and he moves quick. Yeah, you still got it.

0000

Finn

She's change but she's the exact same in the sense she's in control. After your shower you saw new boxers and clothes that may be to big but it beats small clothes. Once your dressed the clothes fit perfect and the shoes are even better you look like a civilian. Your hair is wet and curling but that's cool with you, it'll dry. You walk down the steps seeing Santana watching E! and smoking a cigarette. You wonder when she started as you sit beside her.

"I hate this show. Joan Rivers should have died years ago."

You stare, "She's not dead?"

"No, I bet she sold her soul."

"Why watch her if you hate her?"

"Rachel, Quinn, and Kurt. I don't do red carpets and I need to see if I have to..."

She trails off as Rachel is shown in a cream colored dress with a deep v neck and her slit going right to the top of her thigh. Even you can't help staring, Rachel's always been gorgeous and obviously New York has been good to her. New York and Santana. You stop staring when Santana nudges you, and she nudges you hard. Really hard.

"Still hung up on her?"

"No, she's just very pretty."

She nods, "Gorgeous. Come on."

You follow because she told you and you have follow up questions. The elevator ride is quick, the doorman is friendly, and it's busy on the street. You've been every where in the world but New York holds an impressive appeal, just like the first time. Santana whistles, much like last night and a taxi stops almost immediately.

"How do you do that?"

"Huge tits."

She laughs getting in and you can't help but laugh at the way she scrunches her face up like an adorable kitten. She rattles off the address and tells him he's gonna wait with the meter running, she tells him that he's her bitch until she's done running errand and I don't think he minds it too much.

"What are you gonna do now?"

You shrug, "I'm not sure...I'll figure it out."

She raises her eyebrows and you hold eye contact, you really don't know. Before basic you didn't know and after serving you don't know. You refuse to go back to Lima, you can't go back over there. You just can't.

"Where will you live?"

You stare, "I don't know...I have enough cash to live in the hotel."

"No, I refuse to let you be a homeless vet, You'd look terrible with long hair." She smirks, "Think of today as an interview, you've served our country now you'll serve me."

You stare, an interview to serve her? For what? Legally you can't be a bodyguard, seriously, you signed papers.

"As what?"

"I need an assistant that won't cry."

"Um, I can't really...what would I do?"

"Stuff I don't wanna do."

The cab stops and you both get out and camera's start flashing, you don't like it so you look down. She grabs your hand, it's the sweetest thing anyone has done for you in years.

"Who's the new guy?"

"Lesbian lover."

You laugh at her flat tone as she pulls in. She walks to the counter releasing your hand. A man walks from behind a display, moving to the counter, he looks like someone you know. Someone you remember.

"Black or white?"

"Black." She smiles, "How are you Brad?"

You lock eyes on this guy, this man, he looks so familiar. Scarily so.

"Alright, still that damn rob in my back. It's worse than the shrapnel."

She frowns, "I know a really good massage therapist."

"You tell me every time you need a new phone." he looks at you, "Chief. fucking Lucky! Jesus Christ man, I thought you finally met your match."

You smile, "Good to see you walking private."

You notice Santana watching you curiously before looking back to the watch Brad set up the basics on the phone. Once he finishes she pays for the phone and takes it immediately, moving to the other side of the store.

"Play catch up, I have to make some calls."

Brad walks around and hugs you tightly before letting go and shaking your hand.

"Jesus, what happened?"

You shrug, "I was in the hospital."

"I heard you were half dead in Puerto Rico."

You laugh, "My dream death."

"So you know Santana?"

"We went to school together."

"Were you close?"

"She hated me."

"Makes sense, everyone use to hate you in basic."

You smile, everyone hated you in basic and you learned the hard way that hero worship stops when leave a small town. When you stop being a small town hero people are willing to let you know. I messed up once and got everyone push ups until we were all throwing up, in the rain, and they beat me with socks filled with soap. And Brad broke your nose once.

You smile, "What have you been up to?"

"Came back here, can't do anything else."

"Ready?"

You look at Santana, "Sure." You extend your hand to Brad, "We can go get beer some time."

"Any time."

You shake hands before following Santana out. She stares at you as you both get into the cab, you have her give the driver a list, then she looks at you again when the car pulls off.

"So you're that Chief Lucky? You're nuts."

You run your fingers through your hair, "Thanks..."

"Welcome..."

0000

After what felt like days you and Santana return to the God like apartment. She goes up to her room and you lie on the couch. You're tired and your head in throbbing, you place hands on either side, fighting the memory. It's like having a war with yourself, the memory is starting to win so you sit up and start pacing around the room, pacing back and forth, you're chest starts to tighten and you can barely breath. The sounds of bombs dropping replace everything, you can hear screaming, and you can hear the guns.

0000

Santana

You put everything in place and grab your cigarettes so you can get through watching Ellen, you enjoy the show but you know it's gonna be about Quinn, you are quite SICK of it all. You have your reasons. Going downstairs you watch Finn pacing back and forth, his fist are clenched tightly.

"Finn?"

You walk closer as Finn drops to the ground, clutching his head, muttering to himself, you drop to your knees looking at him.

"Finn?" He won't look at you, "Finn Hudson!"

You grab his wrist and he moves so quick that you almost scream as you're pinned to the ground, the fear pumps through your veins and your heart is pounding. He glares at you until something in his head seems to click and he lets you go."

"I'm sorry...I sh-should go." He stands up.

You look at him, "Help me up."

He pulls you up and you punch him in the chest.

"That hurt." You know it's serious but he looks so scared, "I said you were my bitch not my pimp. Come watch Ellen with me."

He stares, "You're not kicking me out?"

"I'm not."

You walk over to the couch sitting down, lighting a cigarette and hand him one, you're surprised by how quickly he takes the cigarette. You light your own and then light his, you put your legs in his lap and stare at the screen.

"She still dances?"

"Every episode."

You both sit in silence, smoking and watching interviews until Rachel, she is always the closer, the big finale.

"Who's your roommate?"

"You'll see he's on the way home."

"It's not Brittany?"

You stiffen and light your third cigarette, Brittany. He doesn't know, how would he?

"No."

"Oh." He props his feet up on the table, "I won't ask why."

"Thank you."

Resting your head against his arm, you feel relief. You feel relief from a complete stranger, a stranger that you'll never know. That's what you need, someone you can get to know. You've been needing a best friend one that won't leave. You're willing to get to know Finn again. During Rachel's interview you watch as she charmed Ellen like always telling stories about everything from her cats to her relationship with Quinn. When Quinn comes out you mute the TV.

"Why'd ya mute it?"

You shrug, "We both know Quinn is an enigma. It gets boring to watch her be Quinn. We both went to high school with Quinn."

Finn nods, you know he gets it. Everyone falls in love with Quinn Fabray and once you do you never stop falling. It's best to avoid her butter melting voice, childish grin, and infectious laughter. The elevator dings and you jump, crawling over the couch and jumps on to a large figure.

"Dave!"

"Santana."

He gets up putting you on his shoulder, Dave Karofsky is your best friend, no joke. He played football for the New York Jets, I don't know what position but he was the first string and he was amazing. He won MVP and the little trophy with the football player on it. Then he tore something important in his leg, that's when you two started catching back up. You saw him one morning on a run and went to breakfast. Three days later he moved in and he started helping your build talent agency. He runs the sports aspect of it all and he has a pilots license so he just flies out to met his clients, he can afford to do nothing but he likes working.

"Who's on the couch babe?" He walks up dropping me on the couch, "Finn?"

Finn stares, "Karofsky?"

"Dave." You correct him.

Dave sits in his recliner, "Hey, you're alive."

"That's what they tell me."

You watch them watch each other, no love is lost her apparently. But they can get over it, Kurt and Dave are very happy together and if Kurt can forgive him then Finn will have to. Plus seeing as you're going to have Finn move in, they can become great friends. You unmute the TV to catch the last few lines of Quinn's performance. Ever since Ellen moved her show to New York it's made awesome it get my clients all over her show. We're so gay and she's so gay, it's wonderful.

"She's gotten so amazing." Finn smiled.

You nod, "Yep, my little money maker."

You start to turn the TV off until you see Rachel and Quinn kissing.

"San."

"Nothing, how was your trip?"You turn the TV off.

As soon as Dave starts talking you zone into another world, a world where it's quiet. A world that exist in the cold bottle of vodka in your freezer. You need to finish it off before Dave finds it, he always threatens to move out when he finds the liquor you try so hard to hide. You look at your phone as it starts ringing and buzzing. You get reach to launch it across the room and Finn takes it, putting it in his pocket.

"I wouldn't be a good assistant if I let you break your phone again."

You stare at him, "No you wouldn't."

0000

AN: So this is just chapter one preview. 10 reviews and I'll post the next one.


	2. I'll stand by you

**AN: **Sorry this has been taking so long. I just haven't had time to update it. Really tore up about Cory. I wasn't going to finish it when I found it. But I decided against that.

**Changes**

You worry about her, you worry a lot and you haven't been here that long. Everything is pretty tense right now, Santana is drunk after downing more than 6 glasses of wine. She's well on her way to pouring her seventh when you decide to take the bottle from her and pour the rest in your glass. The look on her face changes between completely devastated sadness to being confused and blank. You reach over and rub her shoulder, she smiles at you then her plate so you side eye Dave, he looks pissed.

"Come on Tiny," Dave stands and picks hers up -hoisting her on his shoulder-, "She's going to bed now."

He walks up the steps leaving you with Rachel and Quinn so you go back to poking at the jelly looking mess on your plate. You would kill for some tacos or a cheeseburger because this thing on your plate isn't good. It's disgusting when you think about it, really disgusting. You almost gagged when you tried it and ended up spitting it in the napkin when no one was looking.

"I heard about your injury, on the news, did it hurt?"

You shrug, "There aren't nerve endings in the brain, Quinn."

"Really?" Rachel leans in, "What exactly happened?"

"I don't like talking about it and I'm not suppose to talk about it. Sorry, Rach."

Rachel pouts, "It's okay."

"No nerve endings huh? So, do you have a plate in your head?"

You stare at Quinn, "100% grade A titanium used by NASA. I don't like talking about it."

"Finn," Dave walks up, "your boss wants to cuddle."

You smile, "Okay."

It's weird being around Quinn and Rachel, it's weird being around anyone in all honesty. Santana makes you feel normal, she makes you feel like Finn and you haven't felt like Finn in a long time. You ease into her room, closing the door, and walk around to the other side of the bed taking your shoes off. She's just lying on her side like she's waiting for something so you lie down and put an arm around her waist. She scoots back against you, it makes you smile, your grin only grows when she holds your hand. It's nice to feel like someone wants you.

When the door opens she tenses immediately and feel the need to protect her, you tighten your hold on her as she grips your hand. Dave walks in, closing the door, he looks extremely pissed. You can tell by how tight his fist are balled, one hand gripped around a vodka bottle, and his shoulders are tense. You're trained to notice things like that, things that make people angry when they try to hide it, missing stuff like that can get you killed.

"Wanna explain this shit?" Dave holds the bottle up, "Half empty."

She shakes her head, "Not really."

"We're not doing this again!"

"Dave..."

"No! Okay, I let this shit slide with Britt..."

"Get out!"

She screams it, standing up after she throws your arm back. She walks up to Dave and pushes him, he doesn't budge he just looks at her. You sit up in case this goes bad but you're pretty sure that this happens a lot.

"Santana."

"Get." She push, "The Fuck." She pushes hard, "Out!" She punches him in the chest, "Leave!"

He walks out, she drops to the floor hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth. You get out the bed and sit beside her, putting your arm around her, humming a song under your breath. You rock with her and sing a song that always made you smile, 'I'll stand by you', it reminds you of when you found someone that would need you always. Someone that needed love and understanding from the first second their life to the last. Even when that little someone turned out to be Pucks something special instead of yours it felt nice know there was someone you could always stand by. Maybe you can stand by her.

"Won't let nobody hurt you..."

"I'll stand by you."

She whispers it and you kiss her forehead.

**Changes. **

You wake up in the floor with her head in your lap, you scoop her up and carry her over to the bed. You lie her down, cover her up and kiss her forehead before leaving the room. You don't remember falling asleep but you know why you fell asleep in the floor. You wonder what happened with Brittany and Santana to make her go over the edge? Carol never mentioned anything, she never mentioned much other than Kurt and Rachel, Burt's funeral, and how she wished you'd just call her mom. You don't know why it hurts so bad to think about calling her mom, well you do know why. It's all about training and adapting. Over there if you spend all your time thinking about home and you'll come back in a body bag.

"Finn! Answer the phone or give it to me!" Santana walks down the steps, rubbing her eyes.

You grin and take the phone out your pocket, "Santana's phone."

"_Finn! Where is Santana?" _

"Hey Rach," You look at Santana and she's waving her hands and shaking her head, "She's sleep."

"_Oh my...just wake her up!"_

"Isn't there an um saying about a sleeping fish?"

"_What?"_

"Ya know, a sleeping fish?"

"_Oh my fuck, just tell her to call me. " _

She hangs up, you grin at Santana in a fit of giggles, playing dumb is pretty fun because you know that people that have always known you will just give up. Even now, right in the middle of adulthood.

"You need a tux."

"Uh..."

"Movie premiere, that's why she called. We're going."

"Um...with like cameras and loud noises?"

She nods, "Old school cameras, the bulbs pop out and they have to crush them."

"I...I can't do that."

"What? Why?"

You shrug, trying to fight the shaking in your body and will the cold sweat to vanish, "I just...I can't."

She walks up to you, she walks slowly and carefully, she has this soft look on her face and she eyes are understanding. She takes your hand, your heart is pounding and now you're terrified, you can hear all these screams and cries for help, and back of your neck is warm. She stop in front of you and reaches up and places her hands on your neck, pulling you down.

"Look at me."

You look at her, she smiles and moves her hands to your cheeks.

"We're at home, our home. We don't have to walk the carpet. Okay? It'll be a huge crowd but it'll be a calm get together." She smiles, "I'll stand by you."

With that she's up the stairs. You smile as your heart slows down, she makes your brain stop hurting.

**Changes**

**Santana**

You ease into Dave's room and he's sitting at his desk writing, probably working on a new script, he is a great screenwriter, he does is write and fly. You walk up and lean down, wrapping your arms around his neck, you kiss him on the cheek and he's completely ignoring you. You rest your cheek on top of his head, hugging tightly.

"Dave..."

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"Always are."

"Don't be a dick."

You move and sit in his lap, he looks at you with these sad puppy dog eyes and he's also really angry. You put your head against his shoulder, he sighs putting an arm around wait.

"8 months in A.A., \" He holds you, "Why? Why now?"

"No."

"Santana, you gotta let it go. Rachel isn't worth this."

"Stop."

"Brittany is dead."

"No!" You jump up, "Stop saying that! Stop!"

You fall to your knees, it hurts so bad, you wish it would stop. You listen to Dave's chair slide out at the same time that his door is thrown open. You look up at Finn he goes from alert and angry to concerned.

"Santana," He walks up and leans down on the floor, "I'm sorry, I'll walk on the carpet with you."

You can't help but laugh at how wrong he is, you at him and he looks terrified You stand and grab his hand, pulling him out Dave's room and closing the door. This is when it hits you, he probably has no idea about Brittany or Puck or even the scandal that got the New Directions disbanded and glee club closed. Forever. Finn knows nothing and he just wants to make you laugh and grins at you like an idiot.

"We don't have to walk." You push your hair back, "I hate all the flashing anyway."

He smiles, "We can wear sunglasses and I can put in ear buds, that way no one can see my crazy eyes."

"Finn."

"No, I know you're sad but I don't know why and I can't really give you anything. I'm a wounded vet and you gave me a job and somewhere to stay, hell you're paying me. But I can be your friend and do stuff for you, I figure this carpet is important to you so let's do it."

You roll your eyes at his hopeful look, "You need a tux, come on. We don't have much time."

"It's not that late."

You stare at him, "Oh, I have a team that need to call. My beautiful bitch boy."

"Uh..."

"Planner is on the desk down that hall, they are very clearly labeled because my last assistant had OCD and it turned out to be very useful."

You grin at him and walk away, you really need a drink.

**Changes**

Finn needs an assistant to train him, he did everything wonderfully and made all the call, he got everything right the first time. But when was letting people in one of the guys from the make up team got smart with him about the space and he snapped at him. But he looks great, albeit uncomfortable, you think being in the limo and hearing all the upcoming noise isn't helping.

"Tina! I'll call you back..I'll see you inside. Relax, you're gorgeous. You are beautiful, stop it!" You hang up, "She needs to calm down."

Finn looks at you, "Tina? From school?"

"Yep, this is her movie, it's a musical and it's amazing. I'm stealing her from her current agent."

He stares, "Can you do that?"

"I can do whatever I want. I'm hot and I run a million dollar company."

The limo stops and I watch him put his headphones in the his sunglasses as he gets out the limo. He puts his hand inside and helps you out, gripping your hand as you smile at the cameras. You are pretty much a pro at handling red carpets and cameras and fans and the noise. You are the most famous talent agent in America, Forbes made a list and you topped it. This is not arrogance, this is fact. You are the best and it is a fact. And the cherry on top, you won an Oscar at 21.

"Santana! Can we get a picture alone?"

"I'm a package deal tonight."

"Who's the guy? Changing teams?"

You scoff, "He's my friend, losers!" You smile, "You guys want a picture, right?"

And you pose, you pose like a spy, Finn makes faces, you do the 'Dirty Dancing' pose, then he scoops you up and carries you down the carpet. Once inside he give you this manic smile and takes his sunglasses off, his eyes are darting from side to side. He looks crazy, now you're worried and you grab face. You run your thumbs over the skin gently, his breathing changes dramatically and he stops looking crazy. His grin turns into that goofy half smirk think and you wrap your arms around his and start leading. Tina runs up, pulling Mike behind her, a look of pure irritation on her face.

"Finn?"

Finn smiles, "Hey, congratulations."

You move as they hug him, he looks stiffens before hugging back. He moves back to your side and you take his hand. They stare, you just shrug.

"He's my assistant/roommate/bitch."

Tina nods, "I don't care. Help me. Now."

"Coming," You squeeze Finn's hand, "hang with Mike."

He nods and you walk away with Tina behind you, she's a nervous wreck. You can't blame her, this is a huge deal. It's her first movie, her first musical on the big screen. It's called, 'Broadway, I am here', it's about a small town girl on her way to the big stage and her eventual drug obsession, overdose, and recovery as the queen of music. Rachel has a part in it, co-starring, you lied and told Rachel that Tina already had the part so she wouldn't audition. In your mind this role was made for Tina because she is that person, minus the glorified down spiral, but Rachel has had that. She isn't the scared girl in auditions anymore, she's confident and she's traveled the world and won Tony and Oscar awards. Tina is still that terrified girl and she was so shaken up in the audition they thought she was method and a star was born. Under your secret management.

"See?" She points to Rachel, "She's doing it, again."

"What?"

"All eyes on Rachel Berry, how am I suppose to compete with that or announce...don't walk away."

You walk over toward the mock stage and go up the steps, standing beside her with a smile. She stops talking for a moment in surprise and you take the mic.

"Why, hello everyone. As you all know this is Tina Chang's night of first. First starring role, first time singing one the big screen, and her first official night under 'Megatrends talent agency'. Tina, get your gorgeous ass up here."

She walks up, smiling you then goes to the podium. You put an arm around Rachel's waist and pull her away. She leans into you, flashes of her scent attack you as you go to Finn and Quinn, you wonder where Mike went, Finn looks irritated and Quinn looks equally annoyed. You walk over and Rachel immediately attaches to Quinn.

"Where the hell are your shoes, Fabray?"

Quinn shrugs, "Under my seat, quit trying to stifle me."

"When you step on a needle and get herpes don't come crying to me."

Rachel smiles, "She'll be fine, my lover leaves for her tour tomorrow, let her be free."

Rachel pouts, Quinn kisses her and you gag which makes Finn laugh.

"Quinn, shoes. Now." You roll your eyes, "This is a movie premier, not a hippie music festival. When you do that you can be barefoot all day."

She sighs, "Fine."

She walks away, Rachel follows talking to her in a cute voice so you look at Finn, he still looks irritated. You take his head and lead him into the theater. Once seated you look at him.

"Finn?"

"Quinn," He say it so angrily, "She's so...she's so mean some times."

"What happened?"

"Are you still friends?"

You shrug, "In a way, less competitive but she's still pissed I kissed Rachel, even though Rachel kissed me."

"What?"

"Her word exactly follow by a slap," You smirk, "Wonderful slapper."

He stares at you, "She's a good kisser, right?"

"Yes!" You laugh, "Best kisser."

"Quinn isn't bad."

You shake your head, "Yeah, it's hot when she gets demanding but Rachel is better. Softer lips."

"Does she still do that thing with her tongue?"

You give him a large grin, "Oh yeah."

He laughs just as Rachel and Quinn sit down, they stare at the two of you as the room stares to fill. He nudges you with his shoulder before looking at the screen.

**Closer**

Finn

You'll the first to admit that the most talented person you know is Rachel Berry, there's no denying it, but the most surprisingly talented person is Tina. You started her standing ovation and Santana followed right along then everyone else. There is a scene, you think it's your favorite, where Tina breaks into a theater and she starts singing and dancing around when the lights come up. There is a man sitting there, he was watching her the entire time and he asked her, 'Why shouldn't I call the cops?'. She turned him and froze before closing her eyes and saying, 'Because I impressed you.'. Then you can just see it all over her face that she is shitting herself and he claps, telling her to come back. She didn't get that role, it was the opening scene after all, but that did land her a ton of auditions. A lot. It gave her an edge that was hidden behind her shy eyes. You love the movie and you can't wait to pay to go see it to help at the box office because every fan counts, that's how you feel.

The after party is a quiet get together at Rachel and Quinn's place in Brooklyn and it's on the roof and it's pretty cool. There is a little stage and Quinn is singing once again and Rachel is completely entranced by her, it's almost funny.

"Alright folks, I wanna sing with an old friend of mine. Finn Hudson."

You look around, Mike and Tina are here and they don't make you nervous, Kurt is around here somewhere, Santana is on the phone and everyone else is pretty much a stranger. You clear your throat and walk up on the stage, shoving your hands in your pockets. You don't...you don't miss this as much you thought you would over there. Now you just feel like you would rather be doing anything else.

"Lets go old school, 'I don't wanna know'. We did this in high school in our glee club."

The crowd claps and you remember that song clearly, it wasn't all that fun but you did enjoy the song when you practiced it. You look at Rachel as you sing and she's staring at Quinn with a dreamy face, it makes you wanna laugh so you look at Santana and she's smiling at you, even with the phone to her ear. She's busy a lot, you've noticed this, even during the movie her phone was in her purse lighting up over and over. My phone even buzzed a few times, I guess since I'm her assistant my number is important too.

"Still awesome Hudson."

You smile, "Somethings don't change."

And for some reason you mean this, not just about your singing but about Rachel being a school girl in love with the same expression you use to see. Or how Quinn commands the respect of everyone in the room without really trying, she's a lot friendlier and more laid back but she parts rooms because the HBIC title is forever for some people. Somethings don't change like standing by Quinn and realizing no matter how much things change you two will always fit in the perfect piece because you were quarterback and she was head Cheerio.

You walk off the stage as Rachel joins her and go over to Santana, taking the beer out her hand and pour it over the roof. She glares at you but takes your hand when you reach for hers. She didn't want to stay long and you're glad for it, you don't like being on the roof of anywhere. Too much room to fall to your death and no way to get a quick exit if people start to panic. You get down to the to sidewalk and get in the limo, so glad to be leaving.

"You are good, do you want a record deal?"

You shake your head,"What? No."

"Are you sure? Mercedes would totally do it and you are pretty good."

You smile, "Mercedes runs a record label?"

"No, Sam does. They got married like freshman year of college and Sam started managing Mercedes and hustled his way into some nice shit. Plus I helped him a little bit. I made connections very early because Rachel is very talented."

You nod, not too mention Santana is very pushy. It's hard to tell someone as pushy as her no. She's also intimidating.

"But Mercedes pretty much blew the fuck up, Sam became a label head and she helps scout talent, talent that I give her. I.E. Quinn Fabray, a hit making machine. It also helps that she's a hot lesbian and her girlfriend is America's Sweetheart."

You grin, "I thought that was Julia Roberts."

"Nope, Rachel Berry is America's Sweetheart. America's Jewish Sweetheart. Artie directs now, if you're wondering and Mike is an actor. Blaine is on tour, he is a major star and he acts on some gay show about a show choir. He plays the straightest gay guy in the world."

"What about Puck?" You smile, "Has he expanded his business?"

She looks at you with sad eyes, "You don't know, I keep forgetting you don't know. Why don't you know?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about?"

She looks sick, she looks down at the ground and mutters about talking to much and keeping her mouth shut. You have an even better question,

"Where is Brittany?"

Her breathing starts to pick up and she clenches her fist, you reach over and touch her shoulder, she punches you. She punches you right in the face and that sucks because you almost twist her arm back but you caught yourself before a total blackout hit. She crumples so you hold her in your arms.

"Why'd you hit me?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's didn't hurt, I've been shot in the head, not much hurts."

"Don't lie to me, there are no nerve endings in the brain. Finn." She looks at you, "I thought it was a grenade or something."

You nod, "That's what got me honorably discharged. I got shot in the head. Graze me right here," You move her fingers through the scar on the side of your head, "That really hurt."

"Jesus Christ," She sits up, "you're like Superman?"

You shake your head, "Superman doesn't have a chunk of his skull replaced by a metal plate."

"Why you telling me this?"

"Because," You shrug, "Whatever happened with Puck and Brittany, you can talk to me about it..."

She looks at you, "Puck was your best friend, your mom didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what? Carol didn't talk about anything but Kurt and Rachel and Burt."

She looks at you with wide eyes of surprise as she sits up and leans against the seat, she looks exhausted.

"Puck, he uh, he's in jail, he's in jail for a long time."

You stare at her, "What? Why? What did he do?"

"We had a party, it was huge because Rachel finally made it big. All the New Directions got together and Puck...he went on a beer run...he took...he took Brittany with him...I should have said no! He just...he was so damn drunk and he just crashed...he killed her...I killed her! I should have protected her! I should..."

You pull her into your arms, between her resisting and throwing punches at your chest and face until she finally relaxes. You put your hand on the back of her head, stroking lightly, listening to her broken sobs.

"We'll get through it, Santana. Together, I promise."

**Changes.**

You stay up all night, researching what happened, reading the newspaper article. Brittany did not die instantly, she was pinned in the car and it kept her alive until she was released. They gave her a chance to say goodbye, Santana was the first there and it was a, and you quote, "A kiss more tragic than Juliet trying to get a small taste of poison from Romeo's lips.". You saw where some other people were killed and Puck has been in jail ever sense and you want to talk to him and go see him but he's in solitary for prison fights, you know because Jew Fro had it in an article for the anniversary of the tragedy.

When the sun comes up you're on the balcony drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette. Dave left this morning for another trip, saying he would be gone for longer because he's flying for a client while they're on tour. You never smoked before the war or before that first shot to the head but something about being shot makes cancer look...not as awful as it is.

"What time is it?"

"1300 hours." You mutter, "Dave left at 0600."

She sits beside you, drinking from your coffee, "Yeah, that doesn't answer my question."

"It's 1 and Dave left at 6 this morning." You take your cup and give her your cigarette, "Rachel came over and left, she just wanted to tell you Quinn left for her tour this morning."

Santana scoffs, "I bet she did."

She hands you the cigarette and you give her the rest of your coffee, the silence is very comfortable. It smells like coffee and cigarettes, you like the smell quite a bit. It reminds you of Santana which is kinda funny.

"Hungry? Or are you gonna panic again and start flipping me around?" She smirks and leans down pecking you on the cheek.

You grin, "Can I have some cereal?"

"Are you six?"

She walks back inside and it makes you smile as you stand and flick the cigarette butt over the rail before following behind her. You walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table as she puts the Lucky Charms box down with a bowl, she reaches into the fridge and pulls out a carton of milk and slides it across the table.

"I'm not your maid, Scar head."

You smile, you're gonna get through everything together.


End file.
